Dear ED,
I can't be with you anymore. It's been years and at first I was so glad that I found you. You were my savior, my escape. When I was with you I didn't have to think about how lonely I was, how much I felt like an outsider. You told me that you could make me happy, that you could teach me how to be lovable, and it worked for a while. Finally I was getting the attention that I desired from all of those people who I thought truly mattered.
I can't be with you anymore. It's been years and at first I was so glad that I found you. You were my savior, my escape. When I was with you I didn't have to think about how lonely I was, how much I felt like an outsider. You told me that you could make me happy, that you could teach me how to be lovable, and it worked for a while. Finally I was getting the attention that I desired from all of those people who I thought truly mattered.
But then things changed. I found that I couldn't meet your expectations as you set the bar higher and higher. No matter what I did it was never good enough and I just ended up feeling like a failure. You told me that I was fat, ugly, and completely unlovable. You forced me to nearly kill myself just trying to make you happy and even then you treated me like I was less than human. You hurt me like no one else could.
I was so miserable, felt completely stuck, until I came to a realization: I have a choice. I am in control of who and what I want to let into my life and you no longer fall in that category. I have the power to banish you from my life if that's what I truly want. Part of me is feverishly groping, trying to hold on to the familiar, but the familiar no longer brings me joy. You no longer bring me joy.
I can appreciate that you served a purpose in my life but now it appears that you've over-stayed your welcome. So this is an official goodbye. I can't say I don't miss you and the life with you I'll never have because there are some things that I still want from you. That being said, I know it can never be because you don't really love me and you never did. You only lied and manipulated me so that you could get what you wanted. Someone who truly loved me wouldn't do that.
So this is healthy me telling you to leave and never come back. You can't give me the love I need so I'm moving on to someone who can, and that person is me.
--Brit
I was so miserable, felt completely stuck, until I came to a realization: I have a choice. I am in control of who and what I want to let into my life and you no longer fall in that category. I have the power to banish you from my life if that's what I truly want. Part of me is feverishly groping, trying to hold on to the familiar, but the familiar no longer brings me joy. You no longer bring me joy.
I can appreciate that you served a purpose in my life but now it appears that you've over-stayed your welcome. So this is an official goodbye. I can't say I don't miss you and the life with you I'll never have because there are some things that I still want from you. That being said, I know it can never be because you don't really love me and you never did. You only lied and manipulated me so that you could get what you wanted. Someone who truly loved me wouldn't do that.
So this is healthy me telling you to leave and never come back. You can't give me the love I need so I'm moving on to someone who can, and that person is me.
--Brit
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