This quote comes courtesy of a 60-something woman at Starbucks, and though it was not directed at me, I am still thinking about it weeks later.
I'm stuck on this statement because it is just another reminder that the link between morality and eating is pervasive across nearly all age groups. Don't believe me? The next time you're in line at the grocery store notice the language that the magazines use around weight. The celebrities who've lost weight are celebrated as heroes while those who have gained weight are labeled as being weak-willed or lazy.
I'm stuck on this statement because it is just another reminder that the link between morality and eating is pervasive across nearly all age groups. Don't believe me? The next time you're in line at the grocery store notice the language that the magazines use around weight. The celebrities who've lost weight are celebrated as heroes while those who have gained weight are labeled as being weak-willed or lazy.
I can share a personal example from my life: back in my disordered days I would run everyday no matter what. It could be 100 degrees outside, raining, hailing, 2 o'clock in the morning or whatever else you can think of. And the feedback I received simply reinforced the behavior because the responses I got were "oh, you're so good."
I've also heard many a woman utter the phrase "I've been bad." What did they do that was so terrible? They didn't steal from a stranger, or beat their kids, or cheat on their spouses...they ate a cookie. The comparisons may seem extreme but when I think of someone who could be deemed "bad" I think of someone who hurts others. Eating a cookie inflicts neither physical nor emotional damage to others.
The pervasive belief is that people who diet are good and people who don't diet are bad, unless they're naturally skinny. Thin people are good and fat people are bad. Here's the question to ask yourself: Does your morality truly change if you eat chocolate cake one day and a salad the next? Or how about your best friend. Do you spend time with her if she's thin but steer clear if she gains a few pounds?
Think of your own definition of virtue and ask yourself whether weight or restricting calories are an integral part. For some of you the answer may be yes, but I'm going to take a leap of faith here and assume that most of you will answer no.
Now, I'm not telling you how to speak about weight and dieting; however, know that the language you use teaches others what's important to you. The next time you see your reflection in a store window and have to stop and "fix" yourself, there may be a child watching you. The next time you make disparaging remarks about your body, there may be a child listening to you. The next time you make comments, positive or negative, about anyone's body size/weight, there may be a child learning about what she should value in the world.
--Brit
I've also heard many a woman utter the phrase "I've been bad." What did they do that was so terrible? They didn't steal from a stranger, or beat their kids, or cheat on their spouses...they ate a cookie. The comparisons may seem extreme but when I think of someone who could be deemed "bad" I think of someone who hurts others. Eating a cookie inflicts neither physical nor emotional damage to others.
The pervasive belief is that people who diet are good and people who don't diet are bad, unless they're naturally skinny. Thin people are good and fat people are bad. Here's the question to ask yourself: Does your morality truly change if you eat chocolate cake one day and a salad the next? Or how about your best friend. Do you spend time with her if she's thin but steer clear if she gains a few pounds?
Think of your own definition of virtue and ask yourself whether weight or restricting calories are an integral part. For some of you the answer may be yes, but I'm going to take a leap of faith here and assume that most of you will answer no.
Now, I'm not telling you how to speak about weight and dieting; however, know that the language you use teaches others what's important to you. The next time you see your reflection in a store window and have to stop and "fix" yourself, there may be a child watching you. The next time you make disparaging remarks about your body, there may be a child listening to you. The next time you make comments, positive or negative, about anyone's body size/weight, there may be a child learning about what she should value in the world.
--Brit
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