As of 10/3/12 I am 90 days free of eating disordered and other related behaviors.

Although I'd love to stand on top of a mountain to shout "I never thought something so wonderful could happen" and "Now my life is great!" I cannot honestly say either of those. Don't get me wrong, I feel so much better than I did when I was acting on impulses to binge, purge, restrict, or self-harm. SO MUCH BETTER. However, I still have struggles just like anyone else.

*Eating Disorder (ED) voices can take many forms for different people and may change as the disorder progresses. For some, ED may take the shape of the caretaker who has to put everyone else's needs first, the perfectionist who strives to achieve an unattainable goal or the one who habitually plays the victim.  This particular piece is about ED as the drill sergeant.

The Drill Sergeant

I used to believe that the only way I could get things done was through bullying myself into doing them. After all, I was a lazy person. I didn't want to clean my room or do the dishes, I would much rather lie on the couch and watch some TV. In college I became a master procrastinator. Don't get me wrong my grades were good, very good, ED would not allow anything but perfection. But I would bully myself into doing what needed to be done.

1. Some days are awesome, some days are awful.
2. Your recovery is your first priority.
3. You are the most important person in your life.
4. Reaching out is one of the most useful tools for staying in recovery.
5. Boundaries: they are important (especially with people who are relapsing)